Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Teeter Totter

Round 2 of counseling yesterday. He gave us an illustration of a teeter totter. When you are on a teeter totter you have to get balanced with each other. Now you might start off close to the bar in the middle and get it balanced...close to each other. But over time...when conflict arises you get the teeter totter unbalanced and to balance move toward the end of the TT (teeter totter). Each time it gets unbalanced instead of moving in you move out and things are balanced...but eventually you have moved so far from each other you aren't working things are just solving the immediate need of balancing things out. Does that make sense? I wish I could use my hands and show you. 
But it really makes perfect sense to Matt and I. Conflict would arise...we would blow up and then resolve things...but not talk about the real problem...just make things ok enough to move on in life. But over time...that won't work. You have to deal with it or it keeps coming back. So...restore balance...get off the edge and draw near to each other. 
We also talked about the budget and how well we are handling it. That's always a hot topic in marriages. Finances and Sex are the 2 top reasons marriages fall apart. We are not big spenders and we don't go around blowing our money, no debt except for our house, we are faithful tithers and we feel blessed beyond measure for how God has supplied all our needs! But we don't always do the best at budgeting and it causes conflict between us and we need to learn how to handle the conversation without it turning into a fight. He told us in everything we do...make it a "one ness" not a "me ness". Talk about things...come to an agreement as ONE. Which I want to say...DUH...but for some reason we weren't doing that with our finances. So thank you Dr. for that piece of advice!
This week we are working on "One ness" and balance. Thanks for your prayers and I pray each of you are protecting and growing your marriage! 


  1. Getting to the root of the issue is key and where sooo many go wrong or maybe it would be better said they don't realize that is the key!
    I am sooo thankful to have learned this and how to get there! It still takes alot of work and its not always apparent what the "root" is but it gets easier the more you do it!

    Just read all your other posts....praying for Lauren ~ that's so hard when it happens to your first....Jen and I were at the dentist....She handled it great I was in tears LOL

    Love ya

  2. Amazing vulnerability here. God will bless you for that. Prayers for your family.

  3. It is so wonderful that you are sharing all of this...such transparency reveals an authentic Christian. It's SO refreshing...I'll be praying for you and your husband. God is a rewarder of those who seek we should praise Him continually for His unconditional love!
    In Christ,

  4. Great stuff!! Thanks for sharing!!


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